So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
