and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
