i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
