you would pick up someone in the library
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
