We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
