i think my tv is drunk
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
