You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
