you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
