i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
