Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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