I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
