We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
