let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
