At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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