Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
