By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
