I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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