Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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