you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
handjob tips. give me some.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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