Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
