she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
