every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
