my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
