think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
