Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
