i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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