12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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