You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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