I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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