I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
