girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
