Where did you get a picture of my penis
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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