your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
