I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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