i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
