Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
