I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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