just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize