Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
