I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
