Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This is the high leading the old right now
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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