You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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