Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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