so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
