He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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