I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
why is half of my head shaved?
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