She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
