fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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