Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your penis caused this!
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