He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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