I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
