i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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