I need help removing her.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
