i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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