good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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