gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
