First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
