you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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