my mouth tastes like poor choices
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize