i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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