never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
don't judge my taste in strippers
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
