Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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