dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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