Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
