Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
