Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
