that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
